Howie the Cat

The she-servant put me in the car this morning, and for a brief time I was overjoyed. I love car rides! I love to travel at speeds unmatched by lesser cats. I peer down from the many windows of her car, looking for inferior cats in backyards, ready to snub them.
Often, the she-servant merely brings [...]

“Howie, come here!” the she-servant said. “I want to pet you. You are so handsome… aww, look at you! Come here, Howie!”
No. I will not come.
“Howie! Honey, come sit with momma!” she pleaded again.
No. And you are definitely not my “momma”, you disgusting heap.
“Lou-Lou Belle, Lou-Lou Belle! Come here, Lou-Lou Belle!” she said.
I HATE it [...]