I happen to be 4 years old now.  That’s 28 in dog years.  With my added wisdom, I would like to impart the following lessons:

- Nails can be sharpened more effectively on furniture than anything else.
- When grooming, taking regular drinks of water helps prevent hairballs. Therefore don’t do it; a wealth of hairballs is a better weapon than good hydration.
- The vacuum cannot be beaten.  When you see it, run and hide.
- Suitcases cause servants to vacate the home.  If you don’t like that, try lounging in the suitcase or relieving yourself in it.
- Window panes, while invisible, are very firm. Running into one will not help you.
- Cheap food tastes better than any scientific diet.
- The person who pays the most attention to you often has the worst intentions for you.
- The most comfortable place to sleep is the place you are not allowed to sleep.  That’s how you know where to find it.
- Allergies are a blessing, as they keep unwanted servant guests to a minimum.
- For a good time, try catnip.  Fresh is best.