Noon Sunday, December 13, 2008

There it is.

There it is again.

And there… swimming behind the plant now… it’s the most amazingly large but horribly ugly fish I have ever seen. It looks like giant poop with fins. I am mesmerized.

The servants must have put it in the fish tank during my 10 o’clock nap, or my 10:30 nap, or my 11:15 nap. Because it wasn’t there before I settled in for my naps, and it is there now. I have been studying it for the last 10 minutes. It is possible that I am drooling, but that would be undignified. Therefore the wet sensation in the hairs under my chin must be caused by an unexplained change in atmospheric pressure. I know more about that than you do.

1 p.m. Sunday, December 13, 2008

I must eat this poop fish. It looks so meaty… so tender… it will be so delicious in my mouth.

I cannot leave my post in front of the fish tank. My hunger for this fish is consuming me.

Servants are watching.

Must not show weakness.

Must not show weakness.

1:15 p.m. Sunday, December 13, 2008

Oooh, my paw is wet, paw is wet!!

I found a gap in the lid of the tank. It is large enough for me to pass my paw through, but too small for my face. Naturally I sent my paw through it to get a sense of the challenge. Now it is wet. Disaster! I won’t live!! It burns, it hurts, and it clumps my hair!!! Help!!!! MOM!!!!!

Oh, look! A secret stash of catnip.  Nature’s favorite band-aid. Excuse me.