8 p.m. Friday, October 24

The front door closed at 4 p.m. today and both my servants were gone. Since I do not recall granting them permission to leave this weekend, I am sure they are out buying items for my kingdom. It’s getting rather shabby in here. I’d like a new litter box that cleans automatically, since my servants are too lazy for regular cleanings. I also need more catnip. My supply will last only another five days. I will need much more to get through the holiday season.

Lastly, I hope they bring home a couch that looks good with tabby. I would like to nap on the couch more regularly, but am repulsed by the current couch’s non-tabby design pattern.

You’ll find it interesting to learn that my favorite place to sleep is in the sun, or on the he-servant’s chair, or on the servants’ bed, or on top of the piano, or on my scratch pad, or in front of the television, or under the futon, or in that secret place where I hide and the servants can never find me. I can almost always be found in one of those places, except the last place… I am never found there.

3 a.m. Saturday, October 25, 2008

My concern that the servants have defected is mounting.

The door has not reopened, and no new purchases have been delivered to my kingdom. If they don’t return within my next four naps, I’m going to begin looking for new servants.

10 a.m. Saturday, October 25, 2008

I am hiding in the place where I am never found. There is an intruder in my kingdom. I know he is not one of my servants – he is taller than either of them and he is not fat. I am analyzing him to see if there is enough meat on his bones to be worth killing.

10:04 a.m. Saturday, October 25, 2008

Negative; intruder is not worth killing. Not only has he brought me catnip, he has also cleaned out my litter box. Now he is calling for me by name, which proves that I am famous.

10:06 a.m. Saturday, October 25, 2008

Do not consider it a sign of weakness that I came out of my hiding spot at the intruder’s request. I’m sure you would come out of hiding, too, if someone said “Come here, you beautiful person. I want to give you a hug.”

When he was petting me, the intruder promised to come back every day. This is excellent news. I don’t know how long my servants will be gone, but I vote to banish them forever. This new servant takes better care of me and is not fat, so I know he will never try to eat me. I look forward to tomorrow.